The Rules for Good Writing - A Parody

These are the general axioms, so as to put it, that any budding writer should follow, consciously or otherwise, to provide a decent piece of writing that the readers would appreciate. Starting with the most important one, which is :
Long sentences, with commas used, which separate different clauses, are most scowled upon.

A writer must not annoy half his readers by making gender specific statements.

The passive voice should be avoided.

Never use a long word when a diminutive one will suffice.

Always finish what you star

Eliminate one word sentences. Always.

Avoid using ampersands & abbreviations etc.

Exaggeration is a million times worse than an understatement.

Be more or less specific.

Always avoid annoying alliterations.

Do not unnecessarily overuse exclamation marks!!!

Avoid nifty locutions that sound ludicrous.

Don mke it a pt 2 use cel fone lingo whil writn. it botherz da reader n doesn luk gud.

Analogies while writing are like eskimos in the Sahara.

One should never generalize.

Remarks in brackets (however important) are unnecessary.

Last but not the least, cliches should be avoided at all costs.